Brighter Days
by Softrock-showtunesgirlscout22
Summary: "I was pregnant that day, I was pregnant and I lost it..." What if Meredith hadn't had a miscarriage in season 6 but things hadn't actually gone as planned? What are the challenges set up for Meredith, Derek and their family? Will there be brighter days where you seem unable to see nothing but clouds in the sky? An AU companion to my other story "At the end of the day."
1. Prologue

**Brighter Days**

 **MERDER AU. "I was pregnant that day, I was pregnant and I lost it..." What if Meredith hadn't had a miscarriage in season 6 but things hadn't actually gone as planned? What are the challenges set up for Meredith, Derek and their family? Will there be brighter days where you seem unable to see nothing but clouds in the sky? A companion to my other story "At the end of the day."**

 **A/N: Hey guys! So I am in no way abandoning my other stories, but this just wouldn't leave me alone. If you've read "At the End of the Day." then you know I been meaning to write this down for a while and since it's almost summer break, I thought I'd give it a try, let me know what you think of this, please?**

 **I own nothing.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 1: Prologue**

" _ **You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart. The thing that will take your life and light it up or destroy it. Then you become a mother."**_

 _ **-Meredith Grey**_

 _ **Age:16.**_

Derek opened his eyes to the sound of the alarm. He sighed, stretching his arm to turn it off.

"What time is it?" Meredith asked. She moved her body to the side so she was able to face Derek.

"The time of utter silence... until told otherwise." Derek smiled softly, kissing his wife on the cheek. "Hear that?"

"What?" Meredith giggled as he pinned her down to the bed.

"Absolutely nothing..."

Thud.

"You spoke too soon, jinxed it..." Meredith groaned. "I have to get up..."

"Come on, five more minutes... it's not like that they don't know they should knock..."

"Seriously, have you met our children?" Meredith laughed as Derek began kissing her again. "Derek..."

"What..."

"We have to get up..." Meredith shoved him to the side to get out of bed, but he grabbed her waist and pulled her back. "Stop!"

"Ewww...!" Came the alarmed squeal of Zola as she opened the door. "I tried knocking, but.."

Derek released Meredith as she got out of bed. "It's fine Zo, I'm up, let's go..."

"Can I just point out no one should be up this early on a Sunday, it's wrong..." Bailey said as he collapsed on the couch as Meredith was coming from her room.

"Specially if it's someone's birthday.." Came another voice next to him on the couch. "Which apparently no one remembered..."

"Happy Birthday!" two excited voices said from behind Bailey and Sebastian. "Happy birthday Bash!" Derek came out a moment later, followed by two girls, he was holding a box in his hands.

"Happy birthday kiddo." Meredith hugged her eldest son. "I can't believe you're sixteen..."

"Am I? Is that why dad might be going senile or something..." Bash joked as Derek joined Meredith on the couch.

"Really? Well you aren't getting a present then..."

"No!" Bash snatched the box from Derek's hands. "I'm kidding, give me, give me!" Derek watched as his teenage son practically reverted to a 3 year old. _This was actually happening._ Meredith eyed her husband for a moment and she felt her heart pressing on her chest as Bash's eyes widened in shock and Zola's indignant look gave her brother an incentive to be more excited.

"Yes! A responsible driver!" Bailey said excitedly.

"Hey!" Zola hit him with cushion. "You'll take the bus to school then..."

"Well, they are not keys, not yet, but it's a start..." Derek said with a smile. "Mom and I have been talking about it and... we decided it was only fair to give you the benefit of the doubt..."

"It wouldn't be manly if I cried, would it?" Bash said as he hugged his parents. "Best birthday in the history of days celebrating the fact that I was born..."

"Duh, birthday!" Casey said in a matter of facty way. "Makes sense. You celebrate your birthday..."

"Yeah, yeah, Caseypedia I don't need that today, I got a car!" Bash jumped off the couch and onto the end of the hall to his room.

"It's not a car yet!" Zola called after him. "Is it?"

"No, I'm just taking him to get his permit. That's all..." Derek said as he began taking things out of the fridge. "You guys would have to share the car for a while actually..." Zola's face filled with disgust.

"What!"

"Zo, we've talked about this..." Meredith said as Wes and Casey joined her on the kitchen island. "We said we had to give him a chance to at least..."

"Live? Yeah, I know...But if he as much as hurts..."

"It's not a living thing Zola..." Her sister said. "It doesn't feel..."

"Yes, thank you, I know! Still..."

"Zo...We said..." Derek warned.

"Fine..."

"Let him be, it's his birthday..."

* * *

"So, did he like his present?" Callie asked Derek later that day as they sat outside the dream house drinking a beer.

"He did. I'm taking over to get his permit tomorrow..." Derek smirked.

"Good. t How did Zola take it?"

"She... She's fine..." Derek added in. "You don't that you are lucky Justin isn't old enough to drive...It will be a nightmare having those two fighting for who gets to drive the car..."

"Well, look at it this way, now you have one more person to do car pooling and you get to bribe him with the possibly of loosing privileges, so, it's all good..." Derek laughed as he watched Meredith go inside the house. She seemed overwhelmed.

* * *

Meredith found the silence of her room comforting. She didn't want to hide. She shouldn't really, this was about celebrating more than freaking out. She'd made it this far. _He'd made it this far..._

"Mer?" She heard the sound of Derek's voice coming from the threshold. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

She turned her face away, cleaning her tears as she went. "Nothing. Nothing, I'm fine. I think we should go back out there..." She tried to stand up but he pulled her back down.

"Hey, come on, talk to me..."

"It's today Derek..." She said. "Today was our promise, we promised him, he'd come this far..." Derek took her hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. "And I just can't believe it..."She cried as he held her.

"Then, as it seems we've reached our quota, we should make another promise..." He said, tracing his thumb across his wife's cheek.

"Hey guys..." Maggie called out. "What's the hold up, the cake is out..."

"Alright." Derek said softly. Maggie frowned. "We'll be right there."

"Everything okay?" His sister in law asked.

"Yeah, just go back out there, We'll be right there..."

"Okay..." And just like that, she left. Meredith tried calming herself, she sat farther into the bed and grabbed a picture from the nightstand. She saw the faces of the people who mattered most to her. Derek whose eyes sparkled and hair had somehow managed to remain amazing. Zola, her unexpected gift of a girl who had been her biggest cheerleader when things got bad. Bailey and his sweet ways, she was sure he'd be surgeon when he grew up. Next were her trouble makers. Those three had been born years apart and but were inseparable. Ellie, who to Zola's delight had come to turn a stop to all the testosterone in the house. Casey, her know it all, he reminded her most of her sister Lexie, ergo, his nickname. He was too smart for his own good, and usually dragged Wes along for any idea he might come up with, even though her youngest son was just as sweet as he was hard headed and easy to influence on. And, there in her lap was the baby of the family. Hannah had been a surprise. To everyone, Meredith was sure to nature itself, but she was just Derek's little princess and she loved every second of it. Her fingers traced on Sebastian's face as she paused, her son was a carbon copy of Derek, eyes and all. She felt her chest pressing again.

"Let's just go." She said after a moment. "We need to go..."

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you, dear Bash, happy birthday to you..." Meredith watched as everyone gathered around the cake and her son while they sang. He stole a glance her way, his bright, Shepherd smile made her want to smile to, even though she had conflicted feelings on how she was meant to be handling this.

 _This was a good thing. He'd turned sixteen. She had kept her promise._

"Come on Mer, it's picture time!" She heard Amelia call for her. Ah yes, she and Derek had made it their mission to take a picture of them and each of their children every birthday, call her systematic. She liked the way things grew. She liked to see things evolving and growing.

So, she took her spot next to Derek as he wrapped his arm around her, his other arm held their youngest daughter. The little girl had her head on Derek's shoulder. Casey, Ellis and Wes sat under their parents, as Bailey took a stand next to Derek, Zola to his left. Meredith saw Bash standing next to her and she felt like crying again.

 _She had kept her promise. To herself, to Derek and to her son._

* * *

"You had a good birthday?" Meredith asked her son as they cleared the kitchen together. Bash nodded, focused on the task of drying the dishes. "What?"

"Why did I feel like you've been avoiding to even look at me? Is something wrong?" God. She knew he'd noticed. Darn empathy.

"Nope." Meredith smiled. "Everything is fine." They continued to do chores in silence until Derek came into the kitchen.

"Who broke what?" He said as soon as he noticed the silence. "If you're mad because we couldn't have your friends over, I'm sure you can do something next weekend..."

"Dad...It's..." Derek saw Bash tip toe a bit when he turned around.

"Okay, you know what? I'm going to finish up with those, why don't you go get ready for bed? It's been a long day..." Derek smiled as he took the cloth from him.

"I'm fine." He insisted. "I'll do it..."

"Have you heard of a sixteen year old who wants to do chores? Come on, get out of here birthday boy...we've got somewhere to be tomorrow." Bash smirked as Derek hugged him. He was almost as tall as he was. "Good night bud."

"Night." Bash turned to Meredith and she kissed him good night and told him she loved him. Derek didn't move until he heard the sound of the door closing.

"He's right you know?" Derek pointed out. "You are looking at him as if he was going to disappear..."

"And you don't?" She said defensibly. "I just..."

"Hey..." Derek held her face up. "He's fine Mer, he's happy, you have to stop worrying..." She sighed as he hugged her.

Derek was right. She had made sure her son had reached his sixteen birthday, she had to stop worrying.

 _Beeep... beeep... Her heart froze at the sound of monitor going off. That could only mean one thing._

 _She had still to keep her promise._

 ** _"Nothing in the world can prepare you to be a mother, there's no manual on how to do it, mostly you do it because somehow, you think you can . Because someone depends on you and you are at a loss if you try to look for a mechanical way to do it, because somehow, you depend on that child too."_**

* * *

 ** _So? What did you think? This is just the set up chapter! We will see more of Bash and find out what exactly is wrong with him... Get ready for this ride full of Merder, children, love and resilience._**

 ** _Also, I've made Zola a bit older than Bash in order for the story to work better. ..._**

 ** _Thank you so much for reading and don't forget to review if you liked it ! It inspires me to write more._**


	2. Hopes and promises

**Brighter Days**

 **MERDER AU. "I was pregnant that day, I was pregnant and I lost it..." What if Meredith hadn't had a miscarriage in season 6 but things hadn't actually gone as planned? What are the challenges set up for Meredith, Derek and their family? Will there be brighter days where you seem unable to see nothing but clouds in the sky? A companion to my other story "At the end of the day."**

 **A/N: Hey guys! So I am in no way abandoning my other stories, but this just wouldn't leave me alone. If you've read "At the End of the Day." then you know I been meaning to write this down for a while and since it's almost summer break, I thought I'd give it a try, let me know what you think of this, please?**

 **I own nothing.**

 **Chapter 1 : Hopes and promises**

 **Gestation: 5 to 8 weeks**

"Mer, Derek's asking for you." Meredith heard Cristina say behind her. She had to do this. It was now or never. She had to tell Derek about the baby. They had gone trough a near death experience. He had almost coded on the table. Meredith looked at the small stick in her hand.

She had to do this for him.

"Hey, I just come from seeing Derek. " Lexie said as Meredith made her way to the ICU."His sats are looking good..." Meredith nodded. She wasn't sure she wanted to do the sisterly thing with her right now. Even though they'd become something of sort pf family now.

"Yeah, thanks I'm on my way to see him. " Meredith said softly, her hand on her pocket. Lexie nodded and smiling she walked away.

"Lexie!" Meredith turned around to face her sister. And she hugged her. Just for a moment. "I'm... I just wanted to say I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you are okay too"

* * *

They were always saving each other. whether it was physically or emotionally. He was her knight in shiny whatever and she was his breath of fresh air. And somehow they had both survived this. They all had. Including the baby.

"Dr. Grey " a nurse said softly as soon as she saw her. "Come on in." Derek's head turned as soon as he heard her.

"Meredith..."

"You kept your promise." She said with a soft smile on her face, reaching for his hand.

"You thought I wouldn't? " he asked with a glint of mischief in his voice, though she would consider it to have a bit of desperation too.

"For a minute there, I did. " Meredith admitted. Derek frowned but a small smile appeared on his face.

"Kiss me." He said softly.

"What? "

"Kiss Me."

Meredith smiled at him, leaning towards his lips for a peck. It surprised her that even in the midst of it all he still managed to feel his hand caressing her cheek. Meredith cursed under her breath as hormones took over her."What's wrong?"

She huffed incredulously. How was it possible he was asking her that, being the one on the bed. With a bullet wound to the chest. Still, tears filled her eyes and he was filled with worry.

 _It was now or never._

"Mer?"

"Remember I said I had something to tell you?" He nodded. "Well, its kind of a big deal which is among, other things, why I am so happy you didn't break your promise." She took a deep breath. "I started feeling nauseous yesterday so I peed on a stick..." Derek's eyes widened. His eyes moving directly to her still flat tummy. "I'm pregnant."

* * *

This wasn't how she pictured she'd tell him. She had all figured out in her head. Some utterly normal way to let him know they were having a baby. She thought of dinner and then some kind of mind blowing sex followup. That's the way she had wanted to tell him.

Yet, this had happened and the dream was gone. Like most things in her life, she would just have to make it work with what she had. She glanced over at Derek. He was yet to say something. "I still have to make sure everything is fine I mean..."

"We're going to have a baby? " Derek asked sweetly. His eyes glistening with tears.

"Apparently, yeah. " Meredith added. "We're going to have a baby "

"God Mer, I wish I could hug you right now.." Derek said, still emotional. "I wish..."

"I got to tell you, we both survived this " Meredith said moving closer to him."That's all I need right now..."

"The three of us " Derek said. "I love you so much Meredith "

" I love you too." She kissed him again. lingering on his lips for a moment, just enjoying the feeling of his lips against hers. His living lips.

"Come here. " He glanced at the bed.

"Derek..." She said warningly as she eyed the small fragile bed and her fragile looking husband.

"You just told me we are having a baby so I want to hold you...please, let me hold you."

* * *

After his father had died, Derek Shepherd had made a promise. To his father and to himself to be a good man, to be someone who helped others. And he'd tried.

 _He'd failed, more than once to keep his promise._ But now, as he laid his hand on his wife's stomach, he had made a new promise.

He was going to honor his father by being a good one to his own child.

As he held Meredith's hand as they both waited in Connie's office a week later, him still unable to stand but too stubborn to miss anything, he thought of his unborn child and how he or she would be the perfect mix of both of them. "What are you thinking? " Meredith's voice made him look up at her.

"About how beautiful our child will be." Derek said with a wide smile. Meredith's face transformed too. "And how much I love you."

"I love you too." She said, squeezing his hand slightly.

"Good morning." Connie entered the room looking over at a chart before glancing over at the expectant parents. "Derek, I heard you might be ready to go home next week." Derek nodded.

"You know what they say, doctors make the worst patients." Meredith added in. "He's been bossing all the nurses around, so... it's good he's going home."

"It's good for you too." Connie said with a smile. "Well, let's begin shall we?" Derek suddenly felt Meredith tense but he never let go off her hand as she laid down to begin the ultrasound. "It's still a bit too early to even see anything, I like to do this when you're at least 8 weeks along but as you both went trough such trauma, I don't want to take any chances..."

"So chances are, the baby might be dead." Meredith said suddenly. "It should have died..."

"Meredith..." Derek begged. "If something had happened to you, we would have known by now..."

"You don't know that." Meredith added in.

"No, but I do..." Connie said. "And according to the blood-work we just did, I can most certainly say you're still pregnant... Now, how's the nausea, cramping?"

"Still going..." Meredith said. "But mostly at night..."

"Really?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"What? What's wrong?" She perked up, Derek rolled his eyes.

"Nothing is wrong Meredith, it's just most women experience morning sickness...That's all..."

"Something must be wrong, I mean, it's me, I'm destined for something to be wrong..."

"Well... That's what we are here for..." Dr. Ryan added as she began to explain. "As you may know, 5 ½ to 6 ½ weeks is usually a very good time to detect either a fetal pole or even a fetal heart beat by vaginal ultrasound. So that's what we are doing today..."

Meredith closed her eyes as she felt Derek kiss her hand softly, if it was up to him, he'd be standing next to her, to try and calm her down."

"You might feel some pressure..."Connie said, Meredith had to remained with her eyes closed. "Let's see then..."

There was a moment of utter silence and Meredith felt as if she wanted to be sick, literally.

Then she heard it.

 _A heartbeat._

The baby was still there, inside her, growing, a baby she'd made with Derek.

"Oh my God..." She heard Derek say, she opened her eyes to look at her husband, his eyes were sparkling as he glanced back at her.

"Everything seems normal, heart rate this fast is normal at this stage in pregnancy...The only thing that I am worried about it's Meredith's blood pressure, it's a bit high so I would recommend you to take it easy the next couple weeks..."

"Maybe you should take a leave once I get home, we could..."

"Derek..."

"I know it's hard, trust me, I am a doctor too, but I've been pregnant as a doctor and I strongly recomend you try and keep it as calm as you can, for at least a couple more weeks, there's still a chance of the trauma... to affect the baby and..."

"She could still miscarry..." Derek added in.

"Like I said, I don't want to take any chances..." Connie said bluntly. "Get some rest Meredith, it really doesn't hurt.."

"It will hut me." The resident huffed. Derek looked at her with those piercing blue eyes and she groaned. "I'll do my best.."

"I'll make sure she does." Derek told Connie.

"How? You can barely make it out of bed." Meredith said.

"Barely is not a no..." Derek said.

"Just, please the both of you take it easy, I know it's almost impossible to conceive resting but, for both your sake's any d your baby's, you should..."

* * *

"We could always ask Lexie for help to keep us in check, she'd never forget..." Meredith told Cristina as they sat in Derek's room.

"So, you're just going to go play house with Derek?" Cristina asked. "Are you even able to handle that?"

"I don't know... but I have to do it, or else I am doomed to lose this baby and I can't... I can't do that to Derek, he just survived a bullet to the chest.."

"So, this is about Derek?"

"No, it's about commitment, it's about..."

"A blue post it?"

"Exactly..." She sighed. "I'm married now...so I need to make compromises..."

"Okay, whatever..."

* * *

"This might just kill me..." Meredith groaned as she woke up in the middle of the night to puke her guts out."I might actually die from throwing up..."

"Meredith?" She heard Derek call from bed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. " She said tiredly. "But apparently this baby hates food and night. " Meredith heard Derek's grunting efforts to move. He leaned on the door frame watching his wife siting on the floor. "Wait, what are trying to do?"

"What does it look like?" Derek asked as he lowered himself next to her. He let out a shallow breath.

"Seriously, what are you doing? " She asked frustrated. Derek smiled as he reached to rub her back slowly.

"You are pregnant and I partly responsible for it, so it's my job to be here, every step of the way. " Meredith smiled at him.

"You are recovering from a gun shot to the chest, this is just..."

"I'm fine,Meredith, really I want to stay here, where I am now, rubbing your back, I'm here and I'm fine. "

"Derek..."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too" Derek moved his hand towards her tummy.

"you're going to talk to the baby aren't you?" Meredith smirked.

"I was thinking about it." He gave her one of his trademark McDreamy smiles. Meredith seemed unsure about what to say. She didn't want to take that away from him. Hell, he should be dead instead of here, in the bathroom floor next to her, rubbing her back. "Too soon though?"

"I don't know." She admitted. "I really don't know..."

"Mer..."

And then she cried. She literally burst into tears. "I'm sorry, it's just... This stupid hormones, they are driving me crazy. That's it. I'm gone crazy."

"No, you're pregnant crazy. It's okay." He rubbed her arm softly."I like pregnant crazy. "

"No you don't. I'm crazy crying and smell of vomit."

"Come here." Derek said, holding on to the floor and the toilet to stand up more easily. He turned around to prepare a bath.

"Der, what...?"

He began taking his shirt off. "Join me."

"Derek, it's like 3 in the morning..." She groaned as she stood up.

"So? We don't have to go to work tomorrow..." She said huskily. "We have all the time in the world to take 3 am late baths..." She giggled as he began undressing her.

"We're really doing this?" She breathed as he stood behind her and kissed down her neck.

"Oh, we are. " He turned around to face her and Meredith's eyes focused on the scar that crossed his chest. She found herself lost in the sight of this reminder of what had almost taken him away from her. She felt his touch, cradling her face. And for a moment she let everything behind, everything but the feeling of Derek and how he'd kept his promise.

As she laid there, with his chest against her back, his lips on her neck, his hands on her still flat tummy, the prospect of hoping, didn't seem so bad.

So, she would allow herself to hope.

* * *

 **so.. what did you think? I am sorry for taking so long to update! But the semester is over and hopefully I'll be having more time to write. Also, sorry about any mistake you might find … typing in the tablet isn't easy. Lol anyways thanks for reading! And don't be shy to share your thoughts with me!**


	3. The light you give me

**Brighter Days**

 **MERDER AU. "I was pregnant that day, I was pregnant and I lost it..." What if Meredith hadn't had a miscarriage in season 6 but things hadn't actually gone as planned? What are the challenges set up for Meredith, Derek and their family? Will there be brighter days where you seem unable to see nothing but clouds in the sky? A companion to my other story "At the end of the day."**

 **A/N: Hey guys! So sorry I took forever to update but a lot of things have been going on, such is life huh? and I havent been able to write in a while so I apologize for that, I do hope this chapter makes up for it! I hope this format of the story isn't too confusing, if it is, let me know... anyways enjoy! And happy holiday weekend to all my American friends!**

 **I own nothing.**

 **chapter 2: the light you give me.**

 **Age: 4**

 _Derek was the first one to hear it, the beeping. Mixed with loud cries coming from Bailey. His eyes snapped open, he'd been too slow aparently because Meredith was already hurrying down the hall to her children's room._

 _"Sh..." Derek picked Bailey up from his crib as Meredith tried soothing Sebastian, or Bash as Bailey called him as he couldn't master such a name yet, but the pet name had seemed to be stuck forever with them._

 _"Mommy..." Bash was a quiet child, it was easier this way really, because his eyes didn't reflect terror everytime that beeping went off. He just looked at Meredith as if he was trying to soothe her, instead of being in pain. "Mommy it's okay.." That was her boy, such a McDreamy personality, he was always caring for her, and his eyes reflected Derek's as both of them always managed to make her feel better, no matter what._

 _"I know it is baby." She said softly, stroking his cheek. He was drenched in sweat as everytime the machine went off, it meant his heart was working overtime. Bash sighed loudly as his heart rate had normalize once more, which meant the conduit had worked once more. "Feel better?" the little boy nodded with a tired smile. And so had the pacemaker._

 _"Here, you take Bailey and I'll take care of everything here." Derek said with a smile as he had managed to get his son sleeping once more._

 _"Alright, sweetheart, I'm going to go settle Bailey down and then bring you some water, okay?"_

 _Bash nodded as Derek began undressing the little one, unhooking him for the machine. Meredith shared a look with her husband as she walked away._

 _It was a moment later that she had come back, there was already a fresh pair of bedsheets and Bash was wearing a new set of PJ's. "Looks like daddy works fast huh?"_

 _"I helped too" Bash said proudly as he beamed a smile at her, settling into bed once more. Derek set up the monitor back on. "We're going to use the special mask for a while tonight bud, so you get to sleep a bit better okay?" He unhooked the oxygen mask from the side of the monitor and placed in on Bash. He made a face to show his digust for it. He had never liked it, not even after Karev had drawn on it and told him he could be a pilot everytime he wore it. "I Know, I know..." Derek sighed as Bash rejected the mask. "Hey bud, you remember what I told you to do when you weren't sleepy or you were scared."_

 _"Count to eleven." For a four year old, Bash was really smart and this thing Derek had taught him really did the trick. Amelia had confessed to her once that Derek had made it up for her so she wouldn't be afraid after her father had died._

 _"That's right." Derek said softly, taking the little boy's hand in his. "One"_

 _"Two.."_

 _"Three..."_

 _"...Eleven" It was now he'd fallen asleep. "Now make a wish..." Derek whispered as he kissed Bash's forehead._

* * *

 _"It's the fifth time it's happened..." Meredith said as she laid in bed once more, it was past 3 am and neither of them seemed to be able to go back to sleep. "In the past month Derek, something is wrong..."_

 _"Mer..."_

 _"No, don't say anyting, I know what you are going to say so don't..."_

 _"He's got a check up coming up, we'll tell Maggie and Park about it. Don't worry."_

 _"Don't tell me not to worry, I am worried Derek, they told us that if surgery didn't work..."_

 _"I know." He touched her arm softly but she pulled back harshly._

 _"I'm calling Cristina, she's going to take the next plane home and fix it..." Meredith said after a moment. Derek sighed. With the boys tucked back into bed and Zola not waking up trough the whole ordeal, Derek called this a victory, even if it was a small one._

* * *

 _She'd taken time from work to be in Bash's checkup. Maggie, Dr. Park and Cristina over a monitor were there. She'd been unable to come to Seattle in such short notice. Dr Park came over from LA as often as he could to assit Maggie as she said he was just as good as any although Cristina didn't think so._

 _"Alright, as we all know, Sebastian has what it's called a Dilated cardiomyopathy is a serious condition that weakens the heart muscle and causes it to stretch, or dilate. The heart's upper and lower chambers (atria and ventricles) are larger than your heart muscle is weak, it can't pump out blood as well as it should, so more blood stays in your heart after each heartbeat. As more blood fills and stays in the heart, the heart muscle stretches even more and gets even weaker" Meredith rolled her eyes but Derek looked over at her with a sigh._

 _"We've run some more tests on Bash to determine what is causing his heart to spike like that so repeatedly." Maggie said. "As he has a form of Cadiomyopathy that can sometimes be sort of unpredictable, we've done several preciudures to assist him, including a conduit and pacemaker."_

 _"Hold up for a second here. I might not be in Cardio like all of you, fine. But we're all doctors here so how about we cut the crap?"_

 _"Meredith..." Derek said touching her shoulder._

 _"Just please tell me what we have to do? We'll do it." She begged her sister as her eyes drifted to the room behind her where Alex and Arizona were with Bash._

 _"At this point the only thing we can do is continue with the course of treatment, with inhibitors and continue to monitor him regularly." Dr. Park said with a sloemn nod. "I don't want to take any extreme meassures just yet as Sebastian is still a bit too young."_

 _"What about a transplant? We've talked about it before." Derek asked._

 _Maggie and Park looked at each other while Cristina frowned. "That has to be our last option, at least for now. We don't..."_

 _"You don't think he'll survivie surgery." Meredith assesed._

 _"No, sadly I don't. We've put UNOS up to his medical history anyway and they'll have him move up on the list but as of now, we don't think it will be the right decision." Park added coily._

 _"But we've talked about this since he was born." Meredith said._

 _"Yes and when it's time we'll proceed as needed but for now, just make sure you continue to do what you've done for Sebastian Dr. Grey, I promise you were are not giving up." Meredith shot the doctor a nasty glance and walked away without another word._

 _Derek stayed behind while Maggie trailed behind Meredith._

 _"Hey." Maggie stopped her sister as she was about to enter her son's room. "Are you okay?"_

 _"Great. Just great." She stomped her feet down, hesititating whether or not face Maggie. "No, you know what? I am not okay because I thought you or Derek had my back and it seems like I am all alone here."_

 _"It's not like that, you know that...I am trying to help Bash, I am trying to help you." Her newly discovered sister said._

 _"If you really want to help me then please tell me there is a way for this to stop, to help my son..."_

 _"There is Meredith." Maggie said. "But at this point if we try to force something on Sebastian, we might as well loose him."_

 _Meredith pondered on her words. The reality of what this meant presed Meredith's heart as she tried to make sense of how did all this people, how did her friends, husband or herself let this go on? How would she allow her son to keep living this way?_

* * *

 _"Hey." Meredith heard a voice behind her. It was Amelia. "Derek said you were here." Meredith stood there at the Daycare's treshold staring at Zola and Bailey. "It didn't go well huh?"_

 _"I never wanted kids you know?" Meredith didn't look at the other woman "I never wanted to be someone people could call mother, my mother didn't really want me so I thought I never wanted children, it was Derek, Derek was the one who made me believe I could break the pattern."_

 _"And you did, you have 3 beautiful children. And they adore you." Amelia said sweetly._

 _"He's just so sweet, he's so.." Meredith began shaking, she wasn't sure if she had wanted Amelia to see her break down, she wasn't anything like that and she wasn't willing to show weakness._

 _She had to be strong. For Derek, for her children and for herself._

 _"I Know he is and he's one of the strongest people I know, you have all survived worse, you will survive this." Meredith's pager went off._

 _"What's going on?" Amelia asked._

 _"It's Derek. Probably going to tell me off for storming out." Meredith sighed as she and Amelia headed back to Bash's room._

 _When they got there Derek was in bed with Bash, whispering something on the little boy's ear which made him smile."What's going on here?"_

 _"Mama, where'd go?"_

 _"I went to check on Bailey and Zola." Meredith said with a smile. "Seems like you and daddy are quite cozy here huh?"_

 _"Auntie Arizona said I can go home today, no more hospital." the four year old said._

 _"That sounds like a good plan, I'll be missing you around the gallery though..."_

 _"I'll miss you too mama but daddy said we could go take the ferry just me and him..."_

 _"Did he now?" Meredith eyed her husband. "Ditching me for daddy..."_

 _"Charming, I know..." Derek said witha snile._

 _"Dreamy for sure..." Bash turned around giving Meredith a McDreamy like smile._

 _"I'll make sure he's discharged, I want to take him home though and start dinner, you think you will be staying long?"_

 _"No, I'm just finishing off some charts and I'll take Zola and Bailey home, you go and spend some guy time with Bash, I think he needs it."_

 _"I think I do too." Derek admitted. He leaned his forehead against his wife's. Derek brushed his finger on her cheek. She was about to leave when he stopped her."Hey I Just wanted to say that I am sorry about earlier, I don't want you to think I don't have your back because I do..."_

 _She kissed him softly. "I Know..."_

 _They held on each other as they watched Bash putting on his jacket as a nurse helped him. "I know.."_

* * *

 **What did you think? I don't know if you like this format of how the story is been handled but you can let me know :) Again, so sorry for taking so long to update and in advance for any mistake.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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